So Is This Faith?

From my June 20, 2007, journal entry (edited to protect the guilty):

God, since things got crazy this past February, I don't know if I've been close to You or distant from You. It's felt like both, all at the same time. So which is it? And that's the enigma--I'll never truly know the answer to that question. Perhaps living in that truth--in that enigma--is faith.

I trust that You are close to me. No matter how I or the people around me mess things up, I trust that You are close to me, to us.

That's my only hope.

God, please help me to never stop listening for Your voice. I'm seldom sure when You're speaking to me at the time, but I know You speak to me and guide me. Please, please God, never stop doing this!